December 7, 2007

A Washington DC judge took the extraordinary step of removing the Father of Christmas on Tuesday after concluding that holiday icon Santa Claus violated a higher moral code when he discriminated against children across the world with his "Naughty and Nice" list.

In a case that pared ethics with the traditions of a major holiday, Judge David Hollenback made pointed criticisms of Santa's "dictatorial" behavior, saying that he violated the "golden rule" by enforcing the names on his list.  Judge Hollenback insisted that Christmas is about loving your neighbor, not punishing them.  

In the absence of the beloved holiday figure, the government has stepped in with a multi-lateral committee, H.O.-H.O.-H.O. (House for Organizing Holiday Opportunity and Happiness Oversight).  Ronald Snow, Chairman of the newly formed committee, announced that there will be several changes made to Christmas this year.  "I will not rest until Christmas is fun and safe for everyone."  H.O.-H.O.-H.O. is expected to roll out their changes in the coming weeks.